What is a swimming idiot?
Good question and depending on who you ask, the answer varies. For me, a swimming idiot can be classified as such:
- Real Idiots
- Any swimmer that ventures out past the safety of the cones and swims to the Rocky Point yachting marker (the post) definitely qualifies… but, they must also do this frequently.
The Real Idiots amongst us are Bevan, Linda, Dave, Judy, Sutho, Bruce, David U., Chris, Stephen, Richard, and Matt…
- Any swimmer that ventures out past the safety of the cones and swims to the Rocky Point yachting marker (the post) definitely qualifies… but, they must also do this frequently.
- Apprentice Real Idiots
- To classify newcomers who have realised that swimming this early in the morning is pretty spectacular, the category “Apprentice Idiot” has been added to the list. These people have to prove themselves by completing swims in winter to obtain “Real Idiot” status. Katie and Rob fall into this category.
- Pre-dawn Idiots
- This is a select group who are really asking for trouble by swimming well before the sun has even contemplated rising. How these idiots navigate in the dark without running into each other is beyond me. Of course if Linda is swimming with them, a collision is a forgone conclusion! The idiots that I am talking about are Phil, James, Bruce, Paul, Tony, Chris Q., and Linda…
- Seasoned Idiots
- This crowd have been swimming in the ocean year round for longer than I can count on my fingers and toes. Usually found swimming/wading/walking in the area inside the first line of cones. Idiots with this impressive track record include: Ken, Ruth, Joe, Malcolm, Chris, Warren, Mike, Suzie, Louise, Jim, Judith, Rod, Bob C., Pam, Vic, Rosie, Peter, Meryl, Robyn, Eleanor, Rhoda, Paul, Peter W. who runs headlong into the water, Howard, John Z., John M., Ian, Meg, Sally, Peter, Janet, Di, Dawn, Claire, Robin, Catherine, Paul and Anne, Janice, Gail…
- Absolute Idiots
- Those guys and gals who swim around the island to the Edwards Beach far west cone are just asking for trouble… Judy, Bevan, Sutho, Dave, Matt, Stephen, Richard, David U., Chris, Rob, and Bruce fall into this category…
- Enduring Idiots
- This category is reserved for those idiots that participate in ocean swim events with anything between 400 – 4000 of their closest mates. ‘Closest’ being the operative word when someone swims over the top of you, which is to be expected with this type of event. Stephen, Matt, Richard, and Chris belong in this category.
- Occasional Idiots
- Occasional idiots venture out to the post maybe 3 or 4 times a year. No explanation is given (or warranted) – they just do it!
- Louise, Di and her friend Alex, Luke, Ed, and Alex R., and newcomer Katie are some of the idiots that spring to mind…
- Occasional idiots venture out to the post maybe 3 or 4 times a year. No explanation is given (or warranted) – they just do it!
- Flipping Idiots
- As suggested by Flipperman himself, this category is reserved for idiots that use flippers as an aid for sore backs or for the suspected reason of surviving the rigours of swimming with the likes of Stephen, Matt, Richard or Bevan! David F. and Dave have been Flipping Idiots.
- Sydney Skinny Idiot
- This special category is reserved for idiots who get their kit off at Cobblers Beach for the “Sydney Skinny” – a 900m swim in the nude. Way to go!
- Other types of Idiots
- These idiots are likely to list swimming as their second choice over jogging, or running.
- Bob can be seen jogging on the beach and has done so for far too many years…
- These idiots are likely to list swimming as their second choice over jogging, or running.